My Ship Will Sail

by Kamikaze Pilots Manual

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credits

released June 24, 2016

Vocals/Guitar- Eric Turner
Drums- John Hodge
Bass- Brandon Vasquez

Additional Guitar- Andrew Rodriguez
Female vocals on "When You Said Goodbye"- Tiffany Desirai
Harmonica and Lap Steel on "Wider Than A Mile"- Phillip Odom
Organ on "Life Is Like A Ride"- Eric Turner and Andrew Rodriguez
Piano on "When You Said Goodbye" and "May 2nd"- Eric Turner

Produced by: Andrew Rodriguez
Engineered, Mixed, and Mastered by Phillip Odom at Badwolf Studios in Austin, Tx 2015-2016
Additional Recording by Alex Whitten at Empty Light Studios(RIP)

Cover art by Chelsea Pattillo

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Kamikaze Pilots Manual Abilene, Texas

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Track Name: May 2nd
It's 3am, I'm sober and I'm a mess
And I don't know if I will ever get over this
I find myself staring at these pictures again and again
With all these questions fucking up my head

Is this really what you wanted all along?

Why did you do this to me
I'm falling apart at every seem
And I'm in a constant state of misery

Two years, three months, and twenty-six days
Just to throw it all away
When you talk to God, did he tell you I'm not good enough
And when you pray to his son did he say I'm not worth your love

So nail me to that cross
And with the spear in my side I'm fucking done

Why did you do this to me
I'm falling apart at every seem
And I'm losing my grip on reality
Like a disease infecting every inch of my body
And you're the only remedy
Track Name: Don't Let Me Fall
I dug this grave once before with you
Now it's a tomb
I feel like I'm spinning in this crowded room
Trying to get over you

Don't let me fall
Or I'll be forced to crawl
On hands and knees back to you
With apologies and destructive truths
So lost

Don't let me fall

You seem to know me better than I know myself
So help me keep my feet on the ground
Because I don't want to go back to that hell
Where I'm left alone, in doubt

Don't let me fall
Or I'll be forced to crawl
On hands and knees back to you
With apologies and destructive truths
So lost

Don't let me fall
Track Name: Blank Page Remedy
Leave me to my devices
Please just go
And don't lecture me on all these things you know
Because I've heard it all before
Yeah I still have the notes

To guide me down this desolate lonely road
But at its end, at least, I'll be home

I burnt down this bridge that I built
In a never ending firefight from hell
And as I watched these ashes sail away into the wind

I'm reminded on how it felt to be a kid again
Naive and innocent
With no sense of the direction I was heading in
I could have been anything
Why did I choose this?

I thought this is what I wanted
I thought this place would make me feel different
But these thoughts keep coming back again
And I don't know if I can make it to the end...

So guide me down this desolate lonely road
Track Name: When You Said Goodbye
When you said goodbye
You left a void in my life
I don't think I will ever be able to fill
Why even try
Like God you left me high and dry
And it kills

So tonight I'm drinking for two
And this ones for you

When you said goodbye
I'll admit, I broke down, I cried
I drank my liver dry and soaked in apathy
I felt like I died
Rotting away one the inside
A worthless corpse waiting for heaven to welcome me

So tonight I'm drinking for two
In this empty room
'Cause I know you'll never show
Leave me here all alone
But like a drunken fool
I wait till last call for you
Just to stumble out the door
Back to this shitty world
In sorrow and despair
I found out you never cared

When you said goodbye
I felt like I lost my god damn mind

So tonight I'm drinking for two
In this empty fucking room
And I'm glad you never showed
Left me here all alone
'Cause I'm a drunken fool
To think that your love was true
You can't say you never told a lie
You even said those words tonight
When you looked me in the eyes
And said that I'm the one for you
Track Name: Wider Than A Mile
They say you learn your lessons
And some the hard way
Now I know the reasons
I'll just take them day by day
Today I read your letter
And I don't know what to say
I guess I'm not as perfect
As you need me to be

They say to be resilient
In the face of the north wind
Find what gives your life a purpose
And repent your sins
But it's hard to stay the course
When you just want to give in
Let the waves pull you under
Into an endless abyss

But hold onto me
Hold onto me
Because I don't want to sink to the bottom of the sea
So won't you please hold onto me

So I sit in my room
And write you these songs
In hope that my soul
Will become peaceful and calm
But I'm weathered and frail
And my pride is all gone
I don't have the strength
To continue on

But hold onto me
Hold onto me
Because I don't want to feel the weight of defeat
So won't you please hold onto me

I'll take this in stride
Because the pain will all end
The clouds will soon part
The sun will shine again
See I can forgive
But I will never forget
How you took all my love
And tore it to shreds
Track Name: Dressed For A Funeral
Why do I feel nothing
Maybe I don't know what to feel at all
This news is never easy to hear
It numbs the senses but it doesn't break the fall

So I'm going home dressed for a funeral
When it should have been an ordinary day

We cling to every memory
For guidance, comfort, anything
But it seems so distant
Out of reach
I saw your body but I'm still in disbelief

So I'm going home dressed for a funeral
When it should have been an ordinary day
I don't know what to think
I don't know what to say
But I know things will never be the same

Never be the same

So I'm going home dressed for a funeral
When it should have been an ordinary day
I miss my friend
I miss his company
I miss the way things use to be
Track Name: No Flag No Cross
I can't take the weight of everyday pressing down on me
I can't put my faith in anything because everything's man made
I don't understand what drives this heart to oppress and not embrace
I can't make sense of a damn thing why even try in the first place

So I watch the television to get answers to these questions that I have
But all I see is a machine on coarse, heading straight for a meltdown
Hate filled speech fueled by religious creed asking for my repentance
But not even God himself could get my tongue to say "forgive me for who I've become"

I wish I could see this world as a beautiful place
But there's too much evidence that suggests we have fallen from grace
So if God is in the heavens he must be looking down in shame
Our hate is not the point, no it's our desire to annihilate

Do you see yourself as a martyr or do you paint a different picture
One of a messiah sent to free our souls from the clenches of the devil
feeding desperate lies to hungry cries that beg for something better
But you don't give a fuck about any of us so I turn my back and brave the weather

I wish I could see this world as a beautiful place
But there's too much evidence that suggests we have fallen from grace
So if God is in the heavens he must be looking down in shame
Our hate is not the point, no it's our desire to annihilate

I can't make sense of a damn thing why even try

I wish I could see this world...
I wish I could see this world...
Track Name: Disillusioned
My father told me time would heal all wounds
But the days are getting longer and the night's dark as a tomb
So I prayed to God but I never got through
He must be busy working miracles for you

So am I meant to just chase old ghosts
Down these never ending roads
Lined with memories that haunt my soul
A tragic anecdote
Of a boy who lost the thing that he loved the most

Outside that cemetery I waited for you
Because I didn't want you to walk alone
But it should have been a sign of what you would do
Because you left me in the ground to decompose

Am I meant to just chase old ghosts
Down these never ending roads
Lined with memories that haunt my soul
A tragic anecdote
Of a boy who lost the thing that he loved the most

You left me alone

I'm taking back everything I ever said
The "I love yous, I miss yous," these words I regret
The letters and photos, I threw them away
And I burnt the Bible you gave to me
Because I was just a stupid kid back then
Yes I was just a stupid kid back then

In those flames I found peace
Track Name: Life Is Like A Ride
When I was young
I was so certain
I knew exactly where I was going
But now that I'm older
I've realized
That I'm just lost and on my last line

But they say life is mine for the taking
So stay young and full of conviction
Because this is all just a ride we can change at anytime
So choose love and you'll be just fine

I guess we all grow up
And life gets the best of us
But I won't let it bring me down
Because I am able
Strong and capable
And I'm not ready for this hole in the ground

Because they say life is mine for the taking
So stay young and full of conviction
Because this is all just a ride we can change at anytime
So choose love and you'll be just fine

I'm setting sail
And I'm not coming back
But I'll make you a deal before I go
Track Name: My Ship Will Sail
I've come to far to turn back now
I set my sails, I'm heading out
In search of something pure and profound
Something different from this town
The third month was the worst I must admit
I felt so alone I almost abandoned ship
Till waves of fury, sorrow, and regret
Washed away the hope I had left

I could pray and sing his praise...

I'm moving with the motion of the waves
As they lead me to a salty grave
All my sorrows left behind in my wake
I'm off in search of better things

I could pray and sing his praise
But I will always feel the same
And you can wait and scream my name
But my ship has sailed away